One of the discussion topics in the Corporate Companion training I did for the Springboard apprenticeship mentors was the OK Corral. We talked candidly about how we unconsciously begin our connection with another in one of these spaces based upon implicit and explicit biases and our own self-regard.
Too often, our unconscious bias frames how we begin our interactions with others and can sabotage establishing a constructive connection. Obviously, “I’m OK, You’re OK” is the inclusive and belonging space because there is where you find the presence, and balance, of self-regard and regard for others.
Self-regard is a facet of emotional self-perception. Regard for others is the empathy component of interpersonal EQ. Examples: Low self-regard underlies imposter syndrome and lack of cognitive empathy stifles perspective-taking.
When we initiate or nurture a relationship, showing up with self-respect while understanding our strengths and weaknesses will also come with feelings of inner strength and self-confidence. I’m OK. Bringing empathy into a relationship (recognizing and appreciating how others feel) increases our understanding of another’s perspective and our ability to behave in a way that respect’s others’ feelings. You’re OK.
A key point to make about our emotional intelligence is that having strengths in all areas is not an automatic start in the healthy corner of the OK Corral nor a guarantee of effective emotional & social functioning, well-being, and performance. Those outcomes are a function of the balance and intersectionality of various EI elements. For example, our self-regard can be influenced by our levels of personal self-actualization, problem solving, and reality-testing. Our empathy must also balance reality-testing with self-awareness and emotional expression, the latter being crucial to trust and authenticity.
Bottom line, inclusion and belonging grow in a space of I’m OK, You’re OK, which flourishes in the presence and balance of emotional intelligence. Get to know yourself by taking an assessment and talking about how you show up in the corral.
