Brene Brown’s TED presentation, The Power of Vulnerability, has had almost 2.1 million views. And Pat Lencioni’s Getting Naked tells a story about how vulnerability creates a competitive advantage in customer service and loyalty. I found them both very convincing that the best leaders are willing to venture into uncomfortable places – intellectually, physically, emotionally and spiritually – to more deeply understand themselves and others. I personally have found that letting go of the energy I put into protecting my ego is not only a relief, it’s a recharge because it’s been redirected back to a more peaceful and less fearful frame of mind.
Embracing vulnerability as a means of growth is so easily said than done! It reminds me of my golf game. Hitting just one 200-yard drive off the tee once every 18 holes keeps me coming back in spite of my frustration with the 17 shanks. That one wonderful stroke feels so good, reminding me that 1) I can feel good about golf and 2) feeling good takes practice.
But just when I start to get comfortable with “getting naked”, my No. 1 Leadership Guru, Meg Wheatley, throws another gauntlet at me at her Call to Fearlessness workshop in Oakland last month. Meg suggests that I not only accept those not-so-good feelings of loneliness, feeling ostracized, misunderstood, misinterpreted, and invisible when I thought I’d done my best and nobody else did (vulnerable), I should also give up hope! Whoa! Being the “Pollyanna” I am, that’s utterly unthinkable to me!
Knowing that my ego was doing all it could to block this affront, I continued to take notes as Meg went on to make her point. I’m glad I did because I left the workshop still clinging to my optimism. But here are her words that I later reflected upon:
“To get beyond fear, you must give up hope. The two are married. Expectations are premeditated failure. Giving up hope for an outcome opens up possibilities.”
Coming back to these thoughts after going into the discomfort they caused, I get it. And here’s a good example many might relate to – the increasing disappointment in President Obama by the progressives that elected him. He was our hope for change. We saw the end of wars, fairness and justice for all. He saw bipartisan government acting on behalf of the people. Premeditated failure! Please view this video for a dose of reality.
So what’s the answer and what does it say about leadership? Hope is OK, but the motivation for what we do must be the work itself. Leaders have to learn to do the work of leaders only because it’s what they want to do. It’s our work that has to be the source of our energy; the value, the rightness, and the truth of the work itself must keep us going. Not the hope of the outcome or the thanks we expect – because we may never see it.
Olivia, your blog today is brilliant, and for me the timing of it is just perfect! We were reared in a small community hearing some quite wisdom repeated 1,000’s of times in the most generous tones …. in the context of you message today I am reminded of “do your thing” ….. meaning be authentic ……. and true and “keep doing the right thing” …… do what you feel is right , just because it is the right thing to do …. fear was never mentioned … there is none in fearlessness
Thanks for the comment, Paul. WHen you begin to do so much work in the nonprofit arena, you have to do the work without expectations for “thank yous” or outcomes – you do it simple because it’s what you believe you’re here to do!