Related to the topic of educator as leader-coach, one of my students in the Organizational Culture and the Emotionally Intelligent Work Environment class at JFKU brought our attention to an interesting point from our reading. The behaviors that support effective coaching are empathy, genuineness, and unconditional positive regard. These are characteristic of “helping behaviors” for psychotherapy introduced by Carl Rogers. But are they applicable to coaching? Empathy, authenticity, yes, but that “unconditional” qualifier of “positive regard” is a real challenge! Rogers defined it as showing complete support and acceptance of a person no matter what that person says or does.
Do you as leader-coach have unconditional positive regard for everyone you wish to influence? Can you support and accept each of those unique individuals regardless of their attitude, engagement and performance?
If you answered yes to that question, you probably have a trusting team and a work environment where people are open to ideas, accountable, adventurous, caring, curious, and forgiving.
If you answered no, think about how lacking unconditional positive regard for your people has contributed to the reason(s) for that answer. Are you accepting each of them for who they are? Who have you chosen not to support and why? Why are they still on your team? Consider what “unconditional” means to you. For most it means there are no qualifications or prerequisites for that support and acceptance. The individual doesn’t need to change or make any promises to do so. “I’ll promote your idea to the executive committee, but you’ll have to be more visible to them so increase the hours you’re in the office vs. working from home.”
I think practicing unconditional support and acceptance of the people we lead is much like the spiritual and personal practice of unconditional love. It’s hard work. To get better at it, I’ve replaced the term “unconditional love” and instead work to be nonjudgmental – to avoid judgments of others or situations based on my personal perspectives, values and moral beliefs. When I can successfully let go of judgment, acceptance seems to follow automatically. Don’t let subconscious judgments and conditions get in the way helping you nurture the unique gifts that each of your people bring to life, work and the world.
